my sweet three year old

Dear Kason,

We just put you in bed for the last time as a 2 year old.  Tomorrow you will wake up a 3 year old.  Every year it's harder and harder for me to face your birthday.  Of course I love celebrating you, and the joy that you bring to our lives, but your birthdays come more and more quickly each year and I wish time would slow down just a bit.  The year has been full of so many changes, and you, my dear, have taken them in stride.  This year you became a big brother.  This is a role that I always dreamed of you playing, but it didn't come without stress.  The moment you walked into the hospital room and held Haddie for the first time all of my stress and anxiety melted away.  You were made to be a big brother.  Your love and gentleness for your new sister almost overwhelmed me.  From the get-go you wanted to share your toys with her, love on her, and constantly kiss her.  I couldn't have asked God to make you a better big brother.  I am so proud of you.  Someday when Haddie is older, she will understand the important role you played before she was here.  You taught me what it means to be a momma.  You helped prepare my heart for her.  I am so thankful that you were the one that showed my heart what it means to love without boundaries.  Haddie will be so glad someday, too.

There isn't a day that goes by that you don't do something that makes me laugh so hard I cry.  You are so funny, and your laugh is contagious.  You are such a brave boy, and are constantly doing things to give me gray hair.  Doing flips off of stairs, riding your bike down huge hills, doing "360" jumps off the coffee table…let's just say we're lucky that no bones were broken this year. :)  I love that you are so brave, and you are always wanting to try new (crazy) things.  Everywhere we go you are making people smile, and that is a great gift to have!  I also love that you have started saying your own prayers this year.  You always ask to be the one that prays before dinner.  Some of your favorite people to pray for are: mommy, daddy, Haddie, your friends, Paul George, Boomer, and Purdue Pete.  I love your heart, and hearing you pray is just the sweetest sound.  Teaching you about Jesus is the most important thing to me, and teaching you to pray is one of the best tools I can give you.  Your such a happy, joyful boy and I love how your little personality has really formed over the past year.

I would be lying if I said the past year has been without its struggles.  You are SO strong willed and opinionated, that the 2's have proven to be "terrible" somedays.  You throw big tantrums, get mad at mommy and daddy, and argue a lot.  These are all things that we have worked so hard at improving. I think your daddy and I would agree that we have ended the "terrible" twos on a "terrific" note.  You are becoming such a big boy, and your attitude is getting much more mature.  You are so polite and caring.  You try your best to remember to say "PEASSSE" instead of whining.  When we are in public you say "thank you" completely unprompted and people always comment on how polite you are.  Again, I am so proud of you.  The 2's have been trying, and I know the 3's will be too, but I can see such an improvement in your behavior, so we will celebrate that!

3.  Tomorrow when you wake up you'll be 3.  3 years ago I became a mommy.  3 years ago our lives changed forever.  3 years ago our hearts doubled in size.  Happy 3rd birthday, Kason Asher.  Daddy and I love you more than you will ever know.

Love you forever,

Mommy

kason meets haddie

From the moment I found out I was pregnant I had some anxieties about Kason becoming a big brother.  Don't get me wrong, I was so, so excited to give Kason a sibling, but my nerves got the best of me most of the time.  I distinctly remember the moment the anxiety started.  I had just found out I was pregnant, and had only told one of my best friends.  She was so excited, that she came over with a sweet little "big brother" book for Kason.  I remember watching Kason sit on the floor and look through it, and I just started to cry.  We were trying to get pregnant, but never had I really thought about how it would effect Kason.  His whole life was about to change.  He would no longer be our only child, and he'd have to learn to share his mommy and daddy.  That was a hard pill to swallow.  He'd been our baby, the center of our world for 2 years, and now he'd have to share his role with a sibling.  Was I ruining his life?!

  I struggled with this throughout my pregnancy until one day I decided to stop worrying.  I have such a strong relationship with my sisters, that I was so excited to show Kason the love of a sibling.  I knew they would be close in age, and that would be hard at times, but I hoped in the end it would make their bond stronger.  I knew Haddie would be the perfect playmate for Kason, and I couldn't wait to watch Kason teach her all of his "tricks". :)  Kason loves babies, so I knew he would love his baby sister.  I continually prayed that God would help us all with this transition, and that Kason would never feel less loved or left out.  I'm so glad I put my worries to rest that day.

Fast forward a few months and I began thinking about our first moments together as a family of 4.  I knew without a doubt that no matter what time I had Haddie, I wanted Kason to be the first one to meet her.  I wanted those few intimate moments with just my sweet little family.  I wanted it to be a special time, one that I would remember forever.  I can say without a doubt, that I will never forget the moment my sweet big boy met his tiny baby sister.

Since I had Haddie early in the morning, my parents brought Kason to the hospital around 10:30 am.  My dad sent Kason into the room by himself.  I will never forget how big he looked walking into the room with his "big bro" shirt on.  I immediately teared up.  Kason had no idea how much his life was changing, but I knew how special this moment was.  My heart had indeed grown so much in the past 12 hours, and to have both of my kids in the same room was an overwhelming feeling.  Kason ran right to Duane and Duane picked him up.  Haddie was still under the warmer after her bath, so Duane took Kason to the warmer and introduced him to his baby sister.  Kason looked slightly confused at first, but eventually decided to tickle Haddie's toes, a sign that he accepted her. :) 

 Duane let Kason down and he ran over to me.  I wasn't sure how he'd react to me being in a hospital bed, but he climbed right up and gave me a huge hug.  After snuggling Haddie, all of Kason's features felt big to me.  He was going from my baby boy, to my big boy.  Duane brought Haddie over to us, and Kason was able to hold her for the first time.  He gave her a little blanket animal that he had picked out for her a few days prior.  He was so sweet and so loving, that I almost couldn't believe it.  My heart was so, so full.

One of THE sweetest moments was when our families came into the room.  They all were snapping photos of the FOUR of us, and Kason snuggled into Haddie, closed his eyes, and just loved on her.  It's almost like he was so glad that after 9 months of talking about her, she was finally here.  I am so glad this moment was captured.  I tear up every time I look at it.

Once our families came into the room we gave Kason his gifts that were "from Haddie" and he played for a while.  He would spend the mornings and evenings at the hospital with us, and spent the rest of the time with my parents.  Although I loved having him at the hospital, my busy boy would get bored quickly, so I'm very thankful my parents were willing to keep him.  It was also so special for Duane and I to get some one-on-one bonding time with Haddie, before we got home.

Kason had been the best big brother since that day.  He's so loving toward Haddie, and although he doesn't pay a ton of attention to her, I just love to watch him interact.  If she's laying in her bounced I'll find him sitting on the floor by her giving her high fives and knuckles.  He gets SO excited when she's awake (it's not often we see her eyes) and always yells "Haddie waked UP!!"  I love watching their little relationship already form, and can't wait to see it develop over the next year.

**I am SO, SO thankful for these photos taken by Megan Lindsey Photography.  She photographed Haddie's birth, and was so sweet to photograph our first moments as a family of 4.  These photos mean more to me than words can express, and I'm so grateful for them.**

last days as an only child

It's hard to believe that any day now, Kason will go from being an only child to being a big brother.  Although I do still have some anxieties about this transition, I am so excited to become a family of 4.  That being said, we have been making the most of our time as a family of 3, and doing lots of fun things with our sweet, only child.  

I won't lie, when I got put on bedrest and had to miss the last 2 "family of 3" vacations, I was really bummed.  I wanted those special times with my boy.  However, God had different plans, and I'm so thankful that he's kept this baby girl inside of me for a little longer.  Now that I'm off bedrest, I'm getting to take Kason to do some fun 1 on 1 (2 on 1 when daddy is off work) things with my boy.  

Here's a little glimpse at some of them - 

*Airport visit*

If you know Kason, you know that he LOVES all things that go.  Cars, trains, buses, firetrucks you name it..he loves them.  He points them all out as we drive and gets so excited when he sees any of these transpertation vehicles.  His favorite though?  "Airnanes!"  Also known as airplanes.  Everytime he's in the car he's searching the sky for airplanes.  He can find them even when I can't see them at all.  He shouts "AIRNANE MOMMY!!" and gets so excited.  I know he doesn't remember actually riding on an airplane last summer (I've tried to block it out of my mind as well :)), so I decided he would love a trip to the airport.  There's a huge window area in our airport's terminal that you can watch the planes taxi in and out.  Such a fun, cheap date, and Kason LOVED it.  I'm so glad we live 15 minutes from an airport.  He could watch those planes for hours!  

*"Beach" trip*

Like I said, I was pretty upset about not getting to take Kason to the beach at all this summer.  I know he would love to play in the sand and jump in the ocean.  Since I was unable to travel far, my friend Jess invited up to a lake in the community she lives in.  It has a little beach and Kason was able to play in the sand.  It just so happens that it was the same little beach I grew up playing at with some good family friends.  Kason loved it, and lucky for me, he doesn't know the difference between Heritage Lake, the Atlantic Ocean, and Lake Michigan. :)

*Water gun fights*

This was one of those things that daddy got to be a part of.  Kason loves all things water, so we bought him some water guns one evening and he had a blast!  He was SO excited and the look on his face when daddy shot water at him was priceless.  I just love having a boy!

*Baseball game*

We took Kason to an Indian's game last summer, and although he had fun, I know he didn't truly understand what was going on.  He loves going to watch Duane play softball, so I knew he'd love an Indian's game.  He spent most of the time chasing girls around (we are going to have our hands FULL in the adolescent years :)) and playing with his friend Luke, he loved being at the game!

We've also taken trips to the zoo, children't museum, park, pool, etc.  We've had lots of time doing things that I didn't think we'd get to do much of this summer.  I don't have many pictures from those things, but here are some random summer photos that I've taken -

thankful

Today I find myself so thankful for these things. . . 

. . . a husband that has taken over Kason duty and housework along with keeping up with grad school and work related things.   It's not easy to keep up with Kason full time, one-on-one, but he has done an incredible job and I am so thankful.  I am so nervous for him to go back to work Monday, but thankful for all the help he's given me the last week.

. . . a son that seems to understand that momma can't do much right now.  I was so nervous about this, because we are so go-go-go, but Kason seems to be fine with playing at home and in our yard.  I'm sure he will get bored with me over the next two weeks, but I'm glad he's at an age where it's not hard to entertain him.

. . . friends and family that bring dinner and offer to help out in any way.  Oh my goodness, we have been blessed.  We've already had several meals brought to us, and our small group at church has arranged for us to have meals brought 3 nights a week.  I am just in awe of people's kindness and love for us.   This is a huge burden lifted, considering I can't stand long enough to cook, let alone make a trip to the grocery.  I've had so many texts, facebook messages, and phone calls from people wanting to help in anyway possible.  I am so, so thankful for these people and their willingness to help.

. . . understanding clients, and helpful friends.  I had photo sessions scheduled until 37 weeks.  Most people work up until their due date, and because Kason wasn't born until almost 40 weeks, I didn't see a problem with scheduling so close to my due date.  When I got put on bed rest, I still have 3.5 weeks of sessions scheduled.  My clients were so understanding, and most rescheduled for September.  My babies that hit their milestones at that time opted to have my friend Jess shoot their session, while I still edit.  I am SO grateful that Jess was more than willing to help me out with these 3 sessions.

. . . making it another day.  I'm miserable.  Walking is hard, and I'm still contracting 2-4 times per hour. My stomach and back constantly hurt.  BUT she is still growing inside of me.  I will be in pain until 41 weeks if it means she can fully develop inside of me.  Any amount of pain in worth it for our daughter. So, when I find myself in a lot of pain and complaining, I remind myself that the pain means another day.

. . . a God that has made me feel at peace.  If you know me, you know that I am not a calm person.  I get anxious and stressed out very easily.  Through this whole process, I have been relatively calm.  That can only be explained by a God that took my in his arms, and assured me things would be okay.  He is the reason for my peace, and I am so thankful.

And because I don't like posts with no photos, the two people I am most thankful for through the past tough days.

{photo taken a couple of weeks ago.  Kason's first time golfing 9 holes with daddy.}

my sweet 2 year old

I know I've blogged before about my struggles with the two's, but as hard as they have been, I am LOVING this age!  Although extremely strong willed, Kason's little personality is starting to really emerge, and he is hilarious!  I wanted to take a couple of minutes to write down some of the things he's doing, so that I don't forget them.  I feel like he's learning and changing so much everyday, I know that if I don't stop and blog about all of the little things he's doing, they will become a distant memory.  And my brain usually loses distant memories.

At two years old Kason is...

...Learning so, so much!  He never ceases to amaze me with the things he understands.  He knows all of his shapes, which is weird because we haven't worked on them a ton.  We do have some shape puzzles that he does all the time, so I think that helps.  He's slowly learning to count to 10, but for some reason right now he counts.."2, 4, 6" and then starts over at 2.  I can't figure this out, because we're obviously not counting by 2s with him.  I think it's because I always say..."Onnnne" and then wait for him to say two, and so on.  We're working on it!  He's learning new words everyday, and his newest trick is to pray before dinner.  Cutest thing.  EVER.  I feel like he learns so many words daily, and he is constantly repeating what I say.  I love that he is such a little sponge right now, and the teacher in me wants to continually help him absorb new things.  He also has a stellar memory.  He could take you on a tour of our town, and tell you where Kaia gets a bath, where we grocery shop, where the park is, where grammy works, etc.

...SO polite!  Ha!  This is not like a brag on our parenting, because honestly, I'm not sure why he is so polite.  Every time I (or anyone) gives him something, he says "Tank you!"  Every. Single. Time.  I guess I've been saying thank you to him since he's been able to hand me things, so maybe he picked it up from there.  If you don't say "You're welcome" right away, he will continually say "tank you" over and over again.  The Target cashier learned that the hard way last week, after Kason started yelling "thank you" because she wasn't responding. :)  He also walks around the house saying "Thank you!  Welcome!" over and over again.  We're working on saying "please" instead of whining for something, and he's getting much better about that.  I don't think he remembers unless I remind him, but I've caught him asking nicely several times lately.  He also says "sorry" even if it's not his fault.  I bumped into him this morning when I was sweeping and he immediately say "Sorrer (sorry)" even though I should have been the one saying it.  I guess he's had to say "sorry" so much, he's just used to it! :)

...A sports fanatic.  That's like putting it lightly.  The boy constantly has sports on the mind.  He loves to play golf with daddy, and has even asked me to buy him "Golf shirts.  Like dada!"  Duane is going to take him golfing with him soon..and I can't wait to hear about it!  He still loves basketball, and practices shooting multiple times per day.  His newest favorite sports are baseball and soccer.  He yells every time we drive by the local soccer fields "SOCCER BALL!!" and I know he will love to play next year.  He's been practicing baseball a lot lately too.  He's getting pretty good at hitting the ball with his bat.  I have a feeling I'm going to be spending lots of time at the ball fields when he's older. :)

...Loving the warm weather.  I tell you what, if he could, this kid would sleep outside.  We spend warm sunny days outside, and only come in for nap time.  We've even been eating lunch outside, which he loves.  He loves going to the park and throwing rocks into the creek, and could do that for hours.  He also loves swinging in the "big boy" swing at the park.  When we're at home, he loves driving his car or mowing the grass with his little mower.  He actually followed Duane around with his mower while Duane mowed the front AND back yard.  Hard to believe...since nothing holds his attention for long.

...Such a helper!  He loves to help me around the house.  His favorite chores are sweeping, unloading the dishwasher, and putting clothes in the washer.  He's at the point now that I can ask him to go in the other room and get something, and he does it!  This is so helpful since his momma can't bend down as easily as she used to. :)  I think his helpfulness will come in VERY handy when baby sister is here.  He will love to help with her and already talks about "giving baby sister a bottle".  

...Preparing to be a big brother.  We talk about baby sister A LOT.  I want him to know her name, and know that she is a baby in momma's belly that will come live at our house soon.  He always says "Good morning sister (although he uses her name)."  when he wakes up in the morning.  Anytime I'm changing clothes and he sees my belly he yells "BABY SISTER!!!" and pats my belly.  He loves to point out little girl clothes in the stores and yell his sister's name.  Lately, when we talk about her, he demands she come "OUT!" so I think he's ready to meet her. :)  

...Such a joy!  He's not an "easy" toddler.  He throws lots of tantrums, and whines a lot.  But he always makes me smile, even on hard days.  His laugh is contagious, and he is a genuinely happy little boy. He loves playing with other kids and does such a good job with it.  I honestly can't imagine life without him.  He bring Duane and I so much joy, that I can't look at him and not thank God for such a wonderful blessing.

So, that's my two year old in a nut shell! :) 

just the two of us

It's hard to believe that it's almost May.  That means in just two-ish months, baby girl will join our family.  I've said it once, and I'll say it a hundred more times, this pregnancy has flown by.  I can't believe how much more quickly it's gone this time around.  I've tried to really soak up my time with just Kason, but I can feel a little anxiety knowing it's coming to an end.

Honesty, I feel good about Kason becoming a big brother.  I've prayed a lot about it, and God has given me a peace over my worry.  He's going to love his baby sister, and although there will be rough days, I know that giving him a sibling is an amazing gift.  I don't feel as though I'm ruining his life (as I did a few months ago), but instead feel like I'm giving him a new best friend.  You know, the type of best friend he will hate every other day, but deep down love and protect her.  The best type of friend. :)

So, as our days alone are drawing to an end, I'm trying to do one special date day a week, just with me and Kason.  It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just something that I know Kason would enjoy. Something that gives him my undivided attention.  This week, we decided to head to one of Kason's favorite places, The Children's Museum.  I'm so thankful that the world's largest children's museum is just a 20 minute drive.  Kason always loves it there, and I love to watch him light up when he learns new things.

After the museum, we headed to lunch on the canal.  Kason loves when we go to lunch at this restaurant, because the people mover, or "choo-choo" as he calls it, goes right by it.  He also loves the canal, because he loves anything related to water.  After lunch, we headed down to the canal and Kason fed the ducks.  Or geese.  Which totally freak me out, but luckily they didn't attack us when the bread was gone. :)

So thankful for this time with my boy.  I know I'll look back and cherish these days so, so much. 

 I have a few other date ideas in mind, but if you have anything that would be fun for a 2 year old boy (ALL boy), send those ideas my way! :)