Haddie Kate {the birth story}

Haddie is nestled up next to me, and Kason is napping, so I finally have some time to put the finishing touches on the story of our girl's birthday. I still often read through Kason's birth story, and love each and every one of those memories.  Time goes so quickly, so I know how important it is to blog these memories.  So, without further adoo, here is the birth story of Haddie Kathryn.

This pregnancy has been so eventful!  Between not being able to find a heartbeat in the beginning,  preterm labor, and having a baby that continually measured small, it's safe to say that this girl has kept us on our toes.  Going into labor at 32 weeks was the scariest thing I've ever gone through.  I'm so glad our girl stayed cooking longer, but at the same time, I mentally prepared myself to meet Haddie early.  I figured as soon as I went off of bed rest at 36 weeks, we'd meet her.  Boy, was I wrong!  When 38 weeks rolled around, I was getting so, so anxious to meet my girl.  I kept reminding myself to savor my time with Kason, and remain patient.  I prayed over and over again that God would bring Haddie into this world in his own perfect time.  Sure enough, he did just that.

On Sunday, July 7th, I was getting ready for church.  It was a typical Sunday, and I had once again woken up disappointed that no sort of labor had happened in the middle of the night.  The next day would bring 39 weeks, and the fear of induction was getting closer.  I was discouraged, but prayed the same thing, "God, whenever you're ready, we're ready."  At church that morning is when I remember feeling a really strong contraction.  One that I actually had to sit down for in the middle of a song.  I didn't have another one for about 15 minutes, so I didn't really think anything of it.  I went on with my day, went to lunch at my in-laws house, and nothing really changed.  I was still having strong contractions every 10-15 minutes.  However, that had been happening for 6 weeks, so no big deal!  During Kason's nap Duane offered to clean the house and told me to go lay by the pool.  I took him up on that offer because I had this feeling that it would be my last "me" time for a while.  I laid by the pool and enjoyed some time feeling Haddie move inside of me.  I remember thinking that I would miss those movements, but I was SO ready to meet her.  I headed home from the pool and went home to snuggle Kason after his nap.  We decided that it would be fun to take Kason to his favorite place, the golf course that evening.  He loves to go play golf with daddy, and we figured a rough golf cart ride could only help induce labor.  So, off we went.  I won't lie, pretty much as soon as we got there I was feeling miserable.  I was having strong contractions that were getting painful.  They were still about 8 minutes apart, and I often have lots of contractions in the evening, so once again..no big deal.  These contractions were really painful, and were indeed getting closer together, so once we got home I told Duane I wanted to go on a walk and bounce on a yoga ball to try to "make it happen".  We gave Kason a bath and headed out for a walk.  This is when I would say that labor actually started. :)

It was about 8 pm when we headed out on our walk.  The contractions were so painful that I had to stop and breath through them.  Kason was not a fan of the slow paced walk, but it was all I could do to not get on all fours right in the middled of the sidewalk.  We walked maybe a mile and I knew during that walk that we'd be having a baby soon, but I was still leery.  We got home and I bounced on a yoga ball and started timing contractions.  Sure enough, they were about 4 minutes apart, and they were painful.  I still wanted to wait to call my doctor, so I got into the shower and tried to relax.  At that point, there was no relaxing and I quickly go myself showered and ready to head to the hospital.  Around 10 pm, I called the doctor to let her know that my contractions were about 3 minutes apart.  She told me to go ahead and come in.  We made a mad dash to pack some last minute things, and get Kason ready to go to my parent's house.  By about 11 pm, we were headed out the door.  

Poor Kason was so thrown off, and I think he could sense something wasn't right.  He has been asking me all evening if I was ok.  When I would stop and breath through a contraction he'd pat my back and say "Mommy, ok??" with a concerned look on his face.  So, needless to say, when we dropped him off at my parents he started screaming.  Not the exit I wanted.  This of course left me in tears and made for an emotional goodbye.  I knew in my heart that it was the last time I'd see my baby and he would be my only baby.  I felt bad that his little life was about to get rocked upside down.  I felt bad that he was upset that mommy was leaving.  It was rough.  Finally, I just peeled myself away and Duane and I headed to the hospital.  We pulled in around 11:45.  They checked me into triage, and it was time to find out if our sweet Haddie would be joining us!

The nurse I had through delivery was just awesome.  She asked me several questions as I was laying uncomfortably, and then hooked me up to monitors.  She then checked my cervix and gave me great news, I was dilated to 6 cm!  That's 3 cm more than I was at my appointment a week prior.  I remember her checking and immediately saying "OK!  Let's go have ourselves a baby!"  I was so excited, but the nerves were starting to set in.  We got taken to room #2, the room I would later deliver a perfect baby girl in.  I wasn't in extreme pain yet, but went ahead and got an epidural.  I had contemplated going without it, just because I had a bad experience with Kason, but decided to get one.  Looking back, I wish I would have waited longer, but oh well.  About an hour after I got the epidural (around 12:30 am) the nurse came in and said "It looks like this baby is ready to come!"  I guess her heart rate was going up and down, and the nurse said that was due to the fact that her head was so low.  She checked me, and I was still only 7 cm.  I went ahead and called my friend Megan who would be photographing Haddie's birth.  Since the nurse acted like it would go quickly, I wanted to make sure she was there in plenty of time.  Megan arrived to the hospital around 1:30 am, about the time that my contractions started to slow down.  Of course. :)  My doctor came in at that point and broke my water.  She then asked if I wanted to start pitocin to make the contractions stronger again, and I declined.  I wanted nothing to do with pitocin, and knew how quickly labor progressed when after my water was broken with Kason.  I told her I wanted to wait it out a bit longer and see what happened.




Around 3:30 am, my nurse came back in to check me, and I was at 9 cm!  I was so excited, and was getting really anxious.  Of course, contractions stopped coming so strongly again.  I was getting discouraged, but still didn't want any extra "help" to get the contractions to go.  I knew my body knew what it was doing, and would progress when it was ready.  About 2 hours later, I started to get the urge to push.  I called my nurse and she checked me and said I was still at about 9 cm, but if I wanted to start practice pushes, I could.  So, with every contraction I pushed, to try and encourage Haddie to come.  Around 6:45 am, I felt strong pressure, and knew it was time!  My nurse checked me, and I was finally complete!  It was about this time that I noticed my epidural had pretty much worn off.  I could lift my legs, and was feeling the pain and pressure of each contraction.  My nurse asked me if I'd like another dose before I started pushing, but I declined.  I had 2 doses with Kason and the result was not good.  I ended up being numb from the neck down, and was hardly coherent enough to hold him after her was born.  I knew that the pushing would be painful, but I wanted to be able to be as alert as possible when Haddie came out.  About this time is when all the real "action" started happening. :)

At 7 am, my room became full of nurses running around preparing things for Haddie.  I couldn't believe how many people were in the room.  God bless my nurse that had been with me all along, this was supposed to be the end of her shift, but she stayed with me for the next couple of hours.  I just loved her!  My doctor (Dr. Cruz) came in around 7 am and I was ready to push!  It was such a weird feeling, because with Kason I was so numb that I couldn't really feel the pushes.  That's probably why I pushed for so long.  With Haddie, I could feel her moving down, and my pushes were much more effective and MUCH more painful.  I started pushing at 7 am.  Around 7:15 am, my doctor told me to stop pushing, because the lady next door was about to have her baby as well, and she needed to go deliver that baby.  I totally understand her needing to leave, but don't tell a lady with a baby's head coming out of..well there..to stop pushing!  My nurses let me keep pushing, because I was in so much discomfort.  Around 7:25, they told me to stop pushing, and called my doctor back in.  It was like a race to see which of use would deliver first. :)  My doctor came back in and I gave it several strong pushes and at 7:32 am, our sweet Haddie Kathryn came into the world.  I felt everything, and have to admit how cool (although incredibly painful) it was to feel my daughter come out.  This is the part of the birth story that got a little scary.

When Haddie came out, I had expected them to put her on my chest, just like with Kason.  I had made it clear that I wanted to nurse her right away, and I wanted her placed skin-to-skin as soon as possible.  When she came out, I could see her in my doctor's arms.  Her face was so purple, and she wasn't breathing.  I literally felt like I couldn't breath either.  She wasn't breathing, and wasn't crying.  They told me that they needed to take her over to the warmer and they would bring her right back to me.  I immediately started crying and praying for my girl.  Duane walked over to the warmer with her, and I watched from a distance.  Finally, about 30 seconds (which seemed SO much longer at the time), I heard her whimper a bit.  Still not a loud cry, but at least I knew she was breathing.  The nurses assured me that she was fine, but I was an emotional mess.  I just wanted to hold my girl, but instead was stuck in bed being sewn up (I had a MUCH better tear this time than with Kason, so thankful for that).  After the longest 15 minutes of my life, Haddie was finally letting our loud cries, and her Apgar score (she had to be tested twice because she was so unresponsive to begin with) was finally high enough for me to hold her.  They brought her to me, and for the first time I got to see my gorgeous girl's sweet little face.  She is just the prettiest little thing, with SO much dark hair.  In my ultrasounds the tech. said she didn't see much hair, so I was shocked when I saw how much she actually had.










Those next few minutes were some of the most precious of my life.  I nursed her for the first time and it went so well.  SO much easier than with Kason.  I then laid her on my chest and thanked God for another perfect baby.  She completes our family, and we couldn't be happier.  She had her first bath and Duane got to snuggle her as well, before big brother came into meet her.  It was such a perfect birthday story for our baby girl.














We spent the next 48 hours in the hospital loving on our girl and introducing her to friends and family.  Kason's first meeting with her was so, so special that I want to do an entire blog post devoted to that moment.

That's the story of our girl's birthday.  We love her more than words can express, and are so thankful that God chose us to be her parents.

**We couldn't be more thankful to my friend Megan (Megan Lindsey Photography) that photographed Haddie's birth.  These photos are absolutely priceless to us.**

38 weeks {baby g #2}

Yay for making it to 38 weeks!  I would be lying if I said I wasn't getting anxious, but I know she will come when she wants to come.  I think the hardest part of the end of this pregnancy is waiting.  The fact that I went into labor at 32 weeks and prepared myself (but hoped I wouldn't) to meet her early, has me so anxious to snuggle her.  That, mixed with people asking me 50 times a day if there's any update, have me excited and NOT waiting patiently.  That being said, I know how much brain development takes place between week 37 and 39, so I am glad I've made it another week.  Now my only concern is birthing a large baby.

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl is about 19.5 inches long and weighs about 6.8 pounds according to Baby Center.  I think our girl is bigger, based on past ultrasounds, but I'm hoping those were off.  I don't think I can deliver a 9 pound baby!

My size: Apparently, I waited to put on lots of weight until the end of this pregnancy!  I gained another 2 pounds in a week, putting me at 130 pounds.  That means I've gained a total of 16 pounds.  That's still 4 less than with Kason, but at 130, I'm the heaviest I've ever been and feeling it!  Here's to hoping this baby girl comes soon!

Movement: Movement is 100% uncomfortable at this point.  I feel bad for her, since I don't give her much room to move around, but OUCH.  Each little movement really hurts.

Most exciting thing: Just making it another week.  The anticipation of seeing her sweet face has me so excited. :)

Most annoying thing: All around discomfort.  I'll leave it at that.

Cravings:  None.  

Sickness: Still feeling nauseous.

Next appointment: I went to the doctor today, and will go back again in a week.  Every week my OB says, "See you next week, if you're still pregnant!" and every week, I waddle back into that office.  I'm sure it'll be the same this week.  I'm still holding strong to my desire to go into labor naturally.  I don't want anything to do with being induced or pitocin, so I'm praying she comes on her own.  I had my my membranes stripped today, so I'm praying labor is in the next 48 hours.  We shall see!

last days as an only child

It's hard to believe that any day now, Kason will go from being an only child to being a big brother.  Although I do still have some anxieties about this transition, I am so excited to become a family of 4.  That being said, we have been making the most of our time as a family of 3, and doing lots of fun things with our sweet, only child.  

I won't lie, when I got put on bedrest and had to miss the last 2 "family of 3" vacations, I was really bummed.  I wanted those special times with my boy.  However, God had different plans, and I'm so thankful that he's kept this baby girl inside of me for a little longer.  Now that I'm off bedrest, I'm getting to take Kason to do some fun 1 on 1 (2 on 1 when daddy is off work) things with my boy.  

Here's a little glimpse at some of them - 

*Airport visit*

If you know Kason, you know that he LOVES all things that go.  Cars, trains, buses, firetrucks you name it..he loves them.  He points them all out as we drive and gets so excited when he sees any of these transpertation vehicles.  His favorite though?  "Airnanes!"  Also known as airplanes.  Everytime he's in the car he's searching the sky for airplanes.  He can find them even when I can't see them at all.  He shouts "AIRNANE MOMMY!!" and gets so excited.  I know he doesn't remember actually riding on an airplane last summer (I've tried to block it out of my mind as well :)), so I decided he would love a trip to the airport.  There's a huge window area in our airport's terminal that you can watch the planes taxi in and out.  Such a fun, cheap date, and Kason LOVED it.  I'm so glad we live 15 minutes from an airport.  He could watch those planes for hours!  

*"Beach" trip*

Like I said, I was pretty upset about not getting to take Kason to the beach at all this summer.  I know he would love to play in the sand and jump in the ocean.  Since I was unable to travel far, my friend Jess invited up to a lake in the community she lives in.  It has a little beach and Kason was able to play in the sand.  It just so happens that it was the same little beach I grew up playing at with some good family friends.  Kason loved it, and lucky for me, he doesn't know the difference between Heritage Lake, the Atlantic Ocean, and Lake Michigan. :)

*Water gun fights*

This was one of those things that daddy got to be a part of.  Kason loves all things water, so we bought him some water guns one evening and he had a blast!  He was SO excited and the look on his face when daddy shot water at him was priceless.  I just love having a boy!

*Baseball game*

We took Kason to an Indian's game last summer, and although he had fun, I know he didn't truly understand what was going on.  He loves going to watch Duane play softball, so I knew he'd love an Indian's game.  He spent most of the time chasing girls around (we are going to have our hands FULL in the adolescent years :)) and playing with his friend Luke, he loved being at the game!

We've also taken trips to the zoo, children't museum, park, pool, etc.  We've had lots of time doing things that I didn't think we'd get to do much of this summer.  I don't have many pictures from those things, but here are some random summer photos that I've taken -

36 weeks! {baby g #2}

I'm officially 36 weeks!!!  When I was laying in the hospital contracting every 2 minutes, I thought there was no way I'd make it to this point.  To say I'm thankful is an understatement.  The doctor gave me the ok to take myself off modified bedrest, and lifted all of my restrictions.  Yay!  I still plan to take it easy this week, since I would love to make it to 37 weeks, but if she comes at this point I feel good about it. :)

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl is about 18.5 inches long and probably weighs about 6.5 lbs (like a crenshaw melon).  I had an ultrasound last week and she was measuring right at about 5 lb. 15 oz.  That was actually big for 35 weeks, and put her in the 64th percentile.  I'm thinking the measurements were off a bit, as I don't see myself having a 9 lb. term baby, but I guess it could happen!

My size: Well, so much for not gaining any weight!  I've gained 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Laying in bed and being much less active caught up with me..ugh.  Oh well, I've still only gained 13 pounds total, and 6+ of that is baby girl, so I guess it's not too bad.

Movement: As she runs out of room, movement is slowing down.  I still feel plenty of jabs, but not nearly as many as a few weeks ago.  When the tech. did my ultrasound she said that the baby's head is literally in my pelvis, and he legs are curled up in my ribs.  Since my torso is so short, she just doesn't have any room.  I do feel her push her little booty up throughout the day, which is funny to feel!

Most exciting thing: Making it to 36 weeks is so exciting for a couple of reasons.  1 - I can officially be off of bedrest and start doing more with Kason.  I have several things I'd like to take him to do before she's here, so I'm so thankful I get to do those things (hopefully).  2 - I feel good about a 36 week old baby being born.  She most likely wouldn't need any interventions, especially since I've had the steroid shot.

Most annoying thing: Acid. Reflux.  UGH.  Oh, and the fact that it feels like there's a bowling ball in my pelvis.  Other than that..I feel great.....hahaha!

Cravings:  I honestly haven't craved much lately.  I guess I crave salads occasionally, but nothing other than that.

Sickness: I have started feeling more nauseous in the past week.

Next appointment: I went to the doctor this morning and go back again next Tuesday.  No real update after today's appointment.  I requested not to be "checked" because honestly I don't think how dilated I am at this point really tells me too much.  The doctor did say that baby girl's head is below my pelvic bone, so she's dropped even more than last week.

4 years!

It's hard to believe that 4 years ago today, I was anxiously getting ready to marry my best friend.  Honestly, it seems like we've been married much longer than that, and not in a bad way. :)  I love watching him be a daddy to Kason and can't wait to see him love on our little girl.  I am so thankful to have a teammate in parenting, but most of all, I'm glad to walk through life with my best friend.  It seems like longer than 4 years because I can't imagine what my life would look like without him.

I've always known that God chose Duane just for me, but having kids has solidified that times 100.  Especially in the past few weeks, when the stress level at our house has been much higher than normal. When I went into labor early, and knew that bedrest was inevitable, I had no doubt that Duane would step up and do whatever he needed to to help me.  I had no idea how much he would help, and I am so thankful for him.  He has been working full time, up until 2 am working on grad school work, going to class two nights a week until 9:45 pm, AND going to class all day Saturday.  All of that, and he still plays with and snuggles Kason as soon as he gets home from work.  He still helps me with the things I can't do, like cleaning and making runs to the grocery.  Now THAT is in awesome daddy and an even more awesome husband.  So, so thankful.  Needless to say, we will be glad when next week is OVER and he is done with class until August.  I know that this somewhat trying time has made our marriage so much stronger and for that I am thankful.

I am so blessed that God chose a perfect husband for me.  I can't wait for many more years with him as our family continues to grow.  Happy anniversary, Duane! 

*Photos courtesy of Jess Leigh Photography*

34 weeks {baby g #2}

Yesterday I made it to 34 weeks with our baby girl.  It seems like SO much has happened in the past two weeks, and I am so, so thankful that she is still growing inside of me.  When I was in the hospital having an IV to stop contractions and getting steroid injections, I just prayed that I would make it to 34 weeks.  Now that I made it another week and a half, my new goal is 36 weeks.  I know that she will come when she is ready, and that God will take care of her no matter what, but I would love if she would just keep growing inside of me for a couple more weeks.   

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl is about 18 inches long and weighs about 4.75 pounds (size of an average cantaloupe), according to Baby Center.  My guess is she won't get too much longer, and will gain a couple more pounds..if we make it full term!

My size: Once again, I didn't gain any weight.  I've been hovering between 123 and 124 lbs. for the past 6 weeks.  I am a little concerned, and so is my doctor.  I've only gained 9 pounds this entire pregnancy.  That's not normal!!  Between the constant liquids I had via IV in the hospital, and the magnesium making me have to pee, I litterally peed every 20 minuts for 3 days.  Not fun.  My nurse thought I would lose a lot of weight due my body riding all of the liquid it was taking in.  However, I have been laying around A LOT, so I wondered if I'd gain since I haven't been able to go on walks or anything like that.  I feel huge, and I think I'm about the size I was at 38 weeks with Kason.  I am having an ultrasound done next week to check to make sure her weight is ok.  I had one a month ago, and she was big, so I assume everything is ok.  Praying it is. :)

Movement: Sister is a MOVER.  When they gave me magnesium to stop contractions, they told me not to panic is her heart rate slows down, and she becomes less active.  Since the mag was meant to relax my muscles, it would relax her's as well.  Except for, it didn't do that at all.  Apparently I make them active, because she is going to be non stop like her brother.  The nurse couldn't believe how active she still was and kept having to come adjust my monitors to keep track of her heart rate.  Crazy girl!  She is SO LOW right now, so all of the movement I feel is low.

Most exciting thing: Just making it to 34 weeks was such an exciting thing.  I know it sounds weird, but keeping a baby inside of me has become difficult this time around.  34 weeks makes me feel accomplished. :)

Most annoying thing: I'm going to be honest here.  The past two weeks have been ROUGH.  Between the magnesium, steroid shot, and constant contractions, I am 100% uncomfortable.  I'm on bed rest, which is so hard with a 2 year old, so I know I do more than I should.  I literally can't stand for more than 10 minutes without getting contractions and horrible pains in my stomach and back.  My body is exhausted from contracting so much.  BUT, it is all worth it.  I'm uncomfortable, but she is better off inside of me for now.

Cravings:  I honestly haven't craved much lately.  I guess I crave salads occasionally, but nothing other than that.

Sickness: Haven't felt nauseous lately, but my reflux is bad.  I even get it from drinking water.  WATER people!

Next appointment: I went to the doctor this morning and was checked for any progress.  Thankfully, I haven't progressed much since going to the hospital.  This was an answered prayer!  They want me to come back next week to get checked again, and to have an ultrasound.  Since I went into labor early, I go to the doctor weekly now to ensure that everything is going smoothly.


To be honest, I didn't even want to post this comparison.  I feel like I look huge this time around, and my 34 week photos with Kason was my favorite.  Oh well, it's for the sake of memories..right?  And also, I've never mentioned it, but I take these photos right before church every week.  That's why I "look" put together.  I've worn sweats everyday since I've been home from the hospital, until today. :)

thankful

Today I find myself so thankful for these things. . . 

. . . a husband that has taken over Kason duty and housework along with keeping up with grad school and work related things.   It's not easy to keep up with Kason full time, one-on-one, but he has done an incredible job and I am so thankful.  I am so nervous for him to go back to work Monday, but thankful for all the help he's given me the last week.

. . . a son that seems to understand that momma can't do much right now.  I was so nervous about this, because we are so go-go-go, but Kason seems to be fine with playing at home and in our yard.  I'm sure he will get bored with me over the next two weeks, but I'm glad he's at an age where it's not hard to entertain him.

. . . friends and family that bring dinner and offer to help out in any way.  Oh my goodness, we have been blessed.  We've already had several meals brought to us, and our small group at church has arranged for us to have meals brought 3 nights a week.  I am just in awe of people's kindness and love for us.   This is a huge burden lifted, considering I can't stand long enough to cook, let alone make a trip to the grocery.  I've had so many texts, facebook messages, and phone calls from people wanting to help in anyway possible.  I am so, so thankful for these people and their willingness to help.

. . . understanding clients, and helpful friends.  I had photo sessions scheduled until 37 weeks.  Most people work up until their due date, and because Kason wasn't born until almost 40 weeks, I didn't see a problem with scheduling so close to my due date.  When I got put on bed rest, I still have 3.5 weeks of sessions scheduled.  My clients were so understanding, and most rescheduled for September.  My babies that hit their milestones at that time opted to have my friend Jess shoot their session, while I still edit.  I am SO grateful that Jess was more than willing to help me out with these 3 sessions.

. . . making it another day.  I'm miserable.  Walking is hard, and I'm still contracting 2-4 times per hour. My stomach and back constantly hurt.  BUT she is still growing inside of me.  I will be in pain until 41 weeks if it means she can fully develop inside of me.  Any amount of pain in worth it for our daughter. So, when I find myself in a lot of pain and complaining, I remind myself that the pain means another day.

. . . a God that has made me feel at peace.  If you know me, you know that I am not a calm person.  I get anxious and stressed out very easily.  Through this whole process, I have been relatively calm.  That can only be explained by a God that took my in his arms, and assured me things would be okay.  He is the reason for my peace, and I am so thankful.

And because I don't like posts with no photos, the two people I am most thankful for through the past tough days.

{photo taken a couple of weeks ago.  Kason's first time golfing 9 holes with daddy.}