last days as an only child

It's hard to believe that any day now, Kason will go from being an only child to being a big brother.  Although I do still have some anxieties about this transition, I am so excited to become a family of 4.  That being said, we have been making the most of our time as a family of 3, and doing lots of fun things with our sweet, only child.  

I won't lie, when I got put on bedrest and had to miss the last 2 "family of 3" vacations, I was really bummed.  I wanted those special times with my boy.  However, God had different plans, and I'm so thankful that he's kept this baby girl inside of me for a little longer.  Now that I'm off bedrest, I'm getting to take Kason to do some fun 1 on 1 (2 on 1 when daddy is off work) things with my boy.  

Here's a little glimpse at some of them - 

*Airport visit*

If you know Kason, you know that he LOVES all things that go.  Cars, trains, buses, firetrucks you name it..he loves them.  He points them all out as we drive and gets so excited when he sees any of these transpertation vehicles.  His favorite though?  "Airnanes!"  Also known as airplanes.  Everytime he's in the car he's searching the sky for airplanes.  He can find them even when I can't see them at all.  He shouts "AIRNANE MOMMY!!" and gets so excited.  I know he doesn't remember actually riding on an airplane last summer (I've tried to block it out of my mind as well :)), so I decided he would love a trip to the airport.  There's a huge window area in our airport's terminal that you can watch the planes taxi in and out.  Such a fun, cheap date, and Kason LOVED it.  I'm so glad we live 15 minutes from an airport.  He could watch those planes for hours!  

*"Beach" trip*

Like I said, I was pretty upset about not getting to take Kason to the beach at all this summer.  I know he would love to play in the sand and jump in the ocean.  Since I was unable to travel far, my friend Jess invited up to a lake in the community she lives in.  It has a little beach and Kason was able to play in the sand.  It just so happens that it was the same little beach I grew up playing at with some good family friends.  Kason loved it, and lucky for me, he doesn't know the difference between Heritage Lake, the Atlantic Ocean, and Lake Michigan. :)

*Water gun fights*

This was one of those things that daddy got to be a part of.  Kason loves all things water, so we bought him some water guns one evening and he had a blast!  He was SO excited and the look on his face when daddy shot water at him was priceless.  I just love having a boy!

*Baseball game*

We took Kason to an Indian's game last summer, and although he had fun, I know he didn't truly understand what was going on.  He loves going to watch Duane play softball, so I knew he'd love an Indian's game.  He spent most of the time chasing girls around (we are going to have our hands FULL in the adolescent years :)) and playing with his friend Luke, he loved being at the game!

We've also taken trips to the zoo, children't museum, park, pool, etc.  We've had lots of time doing things that I didn't think we'd get to do much of this summer.  I don't have many pictures from those things, but here are some random summer photos that I've taken -

36 weeks! {baby g #2}

I'm officially 36 weeks!!!  When I was laying in the hospital contracting every 2 minutes, I thought there was no way I'd make it to this point.  To say I'm thankful is an understatement.  The doctor gave me the ok to take myself off modified bedrest, and lifted all of my restrictions.  Yay!  I still plan to take it easy this week, since I would love to make it to 37 weeks, but if she comes at this point I feel good about it. :)

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl is about 18.5 inches long and probably weighs about 6.5 lbs (like a crenshaw melon).  I had an ultrasound last week and she was measuring right at about 5 lb. 15 oz.  That was actually big for 35 weeks, and put her in the 64th percentile.  I'm thinking the measurements were off a bit, as I don't see myself having a 9 lb. term baby, but I guess it could happen!

My size: Well, so much for not gaining any weight!  I've gained 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Laying in bed and being much less active caught up with me..ugh.  Oh well, I've still only gained 13 pounds total, and 6+ of that is baby girl, so I guess it's not too bad.

Movement: As she runs out of room, movement is slowing down.  I still feel plenty of jabs, but not nearly as many as a few weeks ago.  When the tech. did my ultrasound she said that the baby's head is literally in my pelvis, and he legs are curled up in my ribs.  Since my torso is so short, she just doesn't have any room.  I do feel her push her little booty up throughout the day, which is funny to feel!

Most exciting thing: Making it to 36 weeks is so exciting for a couple of reasons.  1 - I can officially be off of bedrest and start doing more with Kason.  I have several things I'd like to take him to do before she's here, so I'm so thankful I get to do those things (hopefully).  2 - I feel good about a 36 week old baby being born.  She most likely wouldn't need any interventions, especially since I've had the steroid shot.

Most annoying thing: Acid. Reflux.  UGH.  Oh, and the fact that it feels like there's a bowling ball in my pelvis.  Other than that..I feel great.....hahaha!

Cravings:  I honestly haven't craved much lately.  I guess I crave salads occasionally, but nothing other than that.

Sickness: I have started feeling more nauseous in the past week.

Next appointment: I went to the doctor this morning and go back again next Tuesday.  No real update after today's appointment.  I requested not to be "checked" because honestly I don't think how dilated I am at this point really tells me too much.  The doctor did say that baby girl's head is below my pelvic bone, so she's dropped even more than last week.

4 years!

It's hard to believe that 4 years ago today, I was anxiously getting ready to marry my best friend.  Honestly, it seems like we've been married much longer than that, and not in a bad way. :)  I love watching him be a daddy to Kason and can't wait to see him love on our little girl.  I am so thankful to have a teammate in parenting, but most of all, I'm glad to walk through life with my best friend.  It seems like longer than 4 years because I can't imagine what my life would look like without him.

I've always known that God chose Duane just for me, but having kids has solidified that times 100.  Especially in the past few weeks, when the stress level at our house has been much higher than normal. When I went into labor early, and knew that bedrest was inevitable, I had no doubt that Duane would step up and do whatever he needed to to help me.  I had no idea how much he would help, and I am so thankful for him.  He has been working full time, up until 2 am working on grad school work, going to class two nights a week until 9:45 pm, AND going to class all day Saturday.  All of that, and he still plays with and snuggles Kason as soon as he gets home from work.  He still helps me with the things I can't do, like cleaning and making runs to the grocery.  Now THAT is in awesome daddy and an even more awesome husband.  So, so thankful.  Needless to say, we will be glad when next week is OVER and he is done with class until August.  I know that this somewhat trying time has made our marriage so much stronger and for that I am thankful.

I am so blessed that God chose a perfect husband for me.  I can't wait for many more years with him as our family continues to grow.  Happy anniversary, Duane! 

*Photos courtesy of Jess Leigh Photography*

34 weeks {baby g #2}

Yesterday I made it to 34 weeks with our baby girl.  It seems like SO much has happened in the past two weeks, and I am so, so thankful that she is still growing inside of me.  When I was in the hospital having an IV to stop contractions and getting steroid injections, I just prayed that I would make it to 34 weeks.  Now that I made it another week and a half, my new goal is 36 weeks.  I know that she will come when she is ready, and that God will take care of her no matter what, but I would love if she would just keep growing inside of me for a couple more weeks.   

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl is about 18 inches long and weighs about 4.75 pounds (size of an average cantaloupe), according to Baby Center.  My guess is she won't get too much longer, and will gain a couple more pounds..if we make it full term!

My size: Once again, I didn't gain any weight.  I've been hovering between 123 and 124 lbs. for the past 6 weeks.  I am a little concerned, and so is my doctor.  I've only gained 9 pounds this entire pregnancy.  That's not normal!!  Between the constant liquids I had via IV in the hospital, and the magnesium making me have to pee, I litterally peed every 20 minuts for 3 days.  Not fun.  My nurse thought I would lose a lot of weight due my body riding all of the liquid it was taking in.  However, I have been laying around A LOT, so I wondered if I'd gain since I haven't been able to go on walks or anything like that.  I feel huge, and I think I'm about the size I was at 38 weeks with Kason.  I am having an ultrasound done next week to check to make sure her weight is ok.  I had one a month ago, and she was big, so I assume everything is ok.  Praying it is. :)

Movement: Sister is a MOVER.  When they gave me magnesium to stop contractions, they told me not to panic is her heart rate slows down, and she becomes less active.  Since the mag was meant to relax my muscles, it would relax her's as well.  Except for, it didn't do that at all.  Apparently I make them active, because she is going to be non stop like her brother.  The nurse couldn't believe how active she still was and kept having to come adjust my monitors to keep track of her heart rate.  Crazy girl!  She is SO LOW right now, so all of the movement I feel is low.

Most exciting thing: Just making it to 34 weeks was such an exciting thing.  I know it sounds weird, but keeping a baby inside of me has become difficult this time around.  34 weeks makes me feel accomplished. :)

Most annoying thing: I'm going to be honest here.  The past two weeks have been ROUGH.  Between the magnesium, steroid shot, and constant contractions, I am 100% uncomfortable.  I'm on bed rest, which is so hard with a 2 year old, so I know I do more than I should.  I literally can't stand for more than 10 minutes without getting contractions and horrible pains in my stomach and back.  My body is exhausted from contracting so much.  BUT, it is all worth it.  I'm uncomfortable, but she is better off inside of me for now.

Cravings:  I honestly haven't craved much lately.  I guess I crave salads occasionally, but nothing other than that.

Sickness: Haven't felt nauseous lately, but my reflux is bad.  I even get it from drinking water.  WATER people!

Next appointment: I went to the doctor this morning and was checked for any progress.  Thankfully, I haven't progressed much since going to the hospital.  This was an answered prayer!  They want me to come back next week to get checked again, and to have an ultrasound.  Since I went into labor early, I go to the doctor weekly now to ensure that everything is going smoothly.


To be honest, I didn't even want to post this comparison.  I feel like I look huge this time around, and my 34 week photos with Kason was my favorite.  Oh well, it's for the sake of memories..right?  And also, I've never mentioned it, but I take these photos right before church every week.  That's why I "look" put together.  I've worn sweats everyday since I've been home from the hospital, until today. :)

thankful

Today I find myself so thankful for these things. . . 

. . . a husband that has taken over Kason duty and housework along with keeping up with grad school and work related things.   It's not easy to keep up with Kason full time, one-on-one, but he has done an incredible job and I am so thankful.  I am so nervous for him to go back to work Monday, but thankful for all the help he's given me the last week.

. . . a son that seems to understand that momma can't do much right now.  I was so nervous about this, because we are so go-go-go, but Kason seems to be fine with playing at home and in our yard.  I'm sure he will get bored with me over the next two weeks, but I'm glad he's at an age where it's not hard to entertain him.

. . . friends and family that bring dinner and offer to help out in any way.  Oh my goodness, we have been blessed.  We've already had several meals brought to us, and our small group at church has arranged for us to have meals brought 3 nights a week.  I am just in awe of people's kindness and love for us.   This is a huge burden lifted, considering I can't stand long enough to cook, let alone make a trip to the grocery.  I've had so many texts, facebook messages, and phone calls from people wanting to help in anyway possible.  I am so, so thankful for these people and their willingness to help.

. . . understanding clients, and helpful friends.  I had photo sessions scheduled until 37 weeks.  Most people work up until their due date, and because Kason wasn't born until almost 40 weeks, I didn't see a problem with scheduling so close to my due date.  When I got put on bed rest, I still have 3.5 weeks of sessions scheduled.  My clients were so understanding, and most rescheduled for September.  My babies that hit their milestones at that time opted to have my friend Jess shoot their session, while I still edit.  I am SO grateful that Jess was more than willing to help me out with these 3 sessions.

. . . making it another day.  I'm miserable.  Walking is hard, and I'm still contracting 2-4 times per hour. My stomach and back constantly hurt.  BUT she is still growing inside of me.  I will be in pain until 41 weeks if it means she can fully develop inside of me.  Any amount of pain in worth it for our daughter. So, when I find myself in a lot of pain and complaining, I remind myself that the pain means another day.

. . . a God that has made me feel at peace.  If you know me, you know that I am not a calm person.  I get anxious and stressed out very easily.  Through this whole process, I have been relatively calm.  That can only be explained by a God that took my in his arms, and assured me things would be okay.  He is the reason for my peace, and I am so thankful.

And because I don't like posts with no photos, the two people I am most thankful for through the past tough days.

{photo taken a couple of weeks ago.  Kason's first time golfing 9 holes with daddy.}

pre term labor??

The past few days have been a total roller coater ride, and not really the fun kind.  They've been scary days filled with lots of prayers.  I wanted to document what's been going on, mainly for my own memory, and just in case anyone is curious as to how all of this started.  Oh, and so I can hold it over my daughter's head some day..haha! :)

 On Friday morning I was getting ready for the day.  I had showered and was straightening my hair when I felt a faily painful contraction.  I have had LOTS of braxton hicks contractions from early on, so I didn't really think anything of it.  I finished getting myself and Kason ready, and we headed out to run some errands.  Keep in mind, we were supposed to be leaving for the beach the following day.  I took Kason to get donuts and as we were eating I started realizing that I wasn't feeliking "right".  I just felt off.  I was having lots of back pain and lots of what felt more like labor contractions than BH contractions.  Once again, I just kind of wrote them off and went on my way.  After all, I was only 32 weeks pregnant, I figured they were no big deal.  We ran a few more errands and by the time we got to the bank (our last stop) I couldn't even walk through the contractions.  This was the moment I realized that maybe something was going on.  I tried not to panic, because I knew that'd make matters worse, but I text Duane and called my sister (she's an OB nurse). Both said to call my doctor just to be safe.  I decided to go home and lay down on my left side.  I guzzled some water, because I know that this is what the doctor would tell me to do when I called.  At that moment, about 5 weeks too soon, I downloaded a contraction timer app.  Kason and I read books on the couch while I timed contractions.  Sure enough, they  were about 4-5 minutes a part for an hour.  These contractions were strong.  Not as strong as when I was in labor with Kason, but they hurt through my back and were so different from the normal BH contractions.  I finally decided to call the doctor.  I was worried they would think I was crazy, but my mom's intuition kicked in, and I decided it was better to be safe than sorry.  The nurse told me to come into the office, so we could check everything out.

This is the point in the story where I became an emotional mess.  I knew in my gut that something wasn't right but kept trying to stay calm.  I prayed that God would take this into his hands.  That he would keep my girl safe inside of me for a while longer.  I called my mother-in-law in tears and asked if I could drop Kason off while I went to the doctor. I contemplated taking him along, but in hindsight, I'm so glad I left him.  That would have been traumatizing for a 2 year old!  I got to the doctor's office around 12:45.  The doctor could tell how much pain I was in, and could feel my contractions just by barely touching my stomach.  She then checked for dilation, and sure enough, I was already dilated to 1 cm.  She made it seem like this was a big deal, but I later found out that it's fairly normal to be dilated early with your second baby.  She told me that she was calling the nurse to wheel (she wouldn't even let me walk) me over to labor and delivery.  She said I would need to be hooked up to monitors and get a steroid shot for my girl's lungs.  At this point I was still relatively calm.  I still thought I'd get to L&D and they'd send me home, no big deal.  I text Duane and told him he might want to come to the hospital, just to be safe.  He got there about a half an hour later and was of course calm as ever. :)

This is the point in the story where my favorite nurse of all time comes into play.  Her name was Jenn and she was an absoulte God send.  She could sense my fear, and did everything in her power to keep me calm.  She told me that I could just be dehydrated, so they'd give me lots of fluids to try to stop the contractions.  She said that I did the right thing by calling my doctor, because I was contracting so frequently.  I received fluids for the next hour, and the contractions got better, but didn't stop.  Around 3:30 I was given Procardia to try and stop the contractions.  The nurse was hopeful this would do the trick, but about a half an hour after I took the medicine (when it was supposed to be kicking in) my contractions started coming more strongly than they had all day.  They were only 2.5 minutes a part and they HURT.  At this point, Jenn started rushing around and I could tell something wasn't quite right.  She said they were going to wheel me to a more private room, which I translated to "you're in here for a while."  When we got to the room the doctor met me and said those dreaded words.  "You are in preterm labor, and we need to stop these contractions."  Preterm labor?!  How is this possible??  I had such a normal pregnancy with Kason.  There were a million thoughts running through my head as the doctor told me that vacation was out, and started throwing around words like "premature baby" and "NICU".

This is about the point I lost it.  I was so sad about vacation, and the fact that I couldn't enjoy that time with Kason.  Of course, above everything else I was scared for my baby girl.  32 weeks was too soon to be born.  I wanted her to be stronger, it was just too early.  At this time Jenn rushed around and got me started on an IV with magnesium.  If you've never had magnesium before, let me tell you something, it is AWFUL.  Within seconds of getting the IV, I felt hot all over, couldn't see straight, and felt like I had been hit by a bus.  All of those things aside, I knew I was doing this for my daughter, so I tried not to complain.  It was only for a short time and hopefully it would help her stay in a little longer. Thankfully, the magnesium stopped the contractions fairly quickly.  I was still having them, but not quite as regularly and they were much less intense.  I was SO thankful for this.  Around 4:30, I received my first steroid shot to help our girl's lungs develop better in case she were to come early.  Jenn said I'd need another shot 24 hours later, and then could possibly go home 24 hours after that.  So, I knew I was going to be in the hospital at least through the weekend.

The next 48 hours weren't too exciting.  The nurses would try to turn my magnesium down, and contractions would start up again, so they would have to turn it back up.  I was in bed the entire time, and was pretty darn close to going crazy.  The doctor and nurses were 100% honest with me about preterm labor.  They were so nice and let me ask all of my questions.  A pediatrician from the special care nursery came and spoke with us as well, and helped calm some of our fears.  I was so glad that even if born now, our girl could stay at the same hospital that I deliver at, as long as her lungs were functioning well.  I was also glad to know that I would still be able to have a vaginal birth, and that even though I'd have to pump, I would still eventually be able to breastfeed.  Breastfeeding is actually SO important for premies and babies in special care.  The pediatrician also emphasized over and over again how lucky we were that this baby is a girl.  Girls are much stronger when born early.  Such a blessing.

  The hardest part of this whole process was the fact that Kason was away from me.  He would come to the hospital in the morning and evening, but he would get bored fairly quickly.  Since my family went ahead and went on vacation, my in-laws took over Kason duty, and I am so thankful for them.  As thankful as I am to have so many family members willing to help, I'm still Kason's momma, and it broke my heart to not be the one taking care of him.  For the first time, I felt so torn between my two babies.  I knew that I was where I needed to be, but knowing that Kason was off somewhere else really made my heart hurt.  I am so glad that Duane was able to go home with him at night.  It was a total blessing that Duane was going to be off work for vacation this week.  He was a lifesaver and took such good care of Kason while I had to spend those 2 nights in the hospital.

On Sunday evening, after two rounds of steroids, they decided to let me go home.  They stopped the magnesium, and sure enough, I started contracting again.  The contractions weren't as frequent, and I don't think they were causing much change, so I felt okay with going home.  My doctor was quite convinced that I would go into full blown labor within a week, but knew I'd be more comfortable at home with Duane and Kason.  My nurse, on the other hand, said she's seen plenty of women go full term after going into preterm labor.  There's really just no way to tell!

So for now, I'm at home on bed rest until 36 weeks.  I celebrate everyday that this girl is able to grow inside of me.  I'm still really uncomfortable and contracting 2-3 times an hour, but at least I'm home with my boys.  It's all a waiting game from here on out!  We are just so thankful that God knows exactly when she will be here, and he will take perfect care of her.

So, that's what's been going on around here!  Never a dull moment, but I'm hoping things slow down a bit. :)

32 weeks {baby g #2}

Monday I was 32 weeks with baby girl!  When I was having Duane take a photo this morning, I thought it was crazy that I would only take 4 (maybe less) more pregnancy photos with this baby.  It has just flown by, and with a very busy 8 weeks ahead of us, I know she will be here before I know it!

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl is about 16.7 inches long and weighs about 3.75 pounds, according to Baby Center.  However, at my appt. 2 weeks ago, the ultrasound showed that she weighed 4 pounds, so I'm guessing she's maybe 4.5 pounds now?  I know those weight predictions can be off a couple of pounds, so she could be much smaller.  Who knows!

My size: I weighed 123 pounds at my appointment today, which means I have gained NOTHING in the past month.  This totally shocks me and freaks me out, but the doctor didn't seem concerned.  I still measured a week behind today, but I know that baby girl is measuring right on track, so that's what's important.  All of those things aside, I am feeling 100% huge.  I get a lot of "you look like you're going to pop" looks when I'm in public.  This baby girl seems to be much bigger than Kason was at this point, so either she's going to be early, or huge.  We'll see in just a couple months!

Movement: Still feeling her all day long.  I find myself constantly pushing body parts back into place when they poke me.  She is SO low that when I have to go to the bathroom, I have to go right away.  If she moves, she hits my bladder and it is bad news!

Most exciting thing: Seeing her in 3d was SO cool.  We're also getting ready to take a vacation with my family, so I'm excited about that!

Most annoying thing: This part of pregnancy is so hard, especially in the summer.  I didn't have to deal with the heat with Kason, so this is new to me.  There is so much I want to do with Kason in these last 2 months, but it's getting really hard for me to go places like to zoo because I walk around so much that I start contracting.  We went this week and I know I overdid it and had to lay down in the evening to stop contractions.  I know they weren't labor contractions, but still strong enough that I felt like I needed to just stop and lay down.  Luckily, they stopped!

Cravings:  I honestly haven't craved much lately.  I eat a few bites of anything and get full right away.  The heat makes me have no appetite at all.

Sickness: Still feeling nauseous.

Next appointment: I went to the doctor this morning, and will go back in two weeks.  After that, I'll go back at 36 weeks and then I'll go once a week.  I cannot believe it's almost the end!

I didn't realize until I looked at this comparison how much lower I am carrying.  I actually think she is already dropping and has been for the past couple of weeks, which is crazy because Kason didn't start dropping until 34 weeks.  I guess everything just happens more quickly the second time around.