Being a mom has been the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced. When Kason took his first steps, I was more proud of him than I was of myself the day I received my college diploma. Watching him learn new things makes my heart more full that I ever imagined possible. I love every second of it.
The loving part is easy, it's the other parts of being a mom that are hard for me. One of my biggest struggles? Comparisons. Comparisons to other moms to be exact. I read an article this week about how in the world of blogs, Pinterest, and Facebook, we as moms are often left feeling insufficient. To be honest, I have stopped looking at Pinterest all together because it overwhelms me. I feel like I am not a good wife or mother, because I don't cook all of the amazing recipes I see on Pinterest. It's an unhealthy feeling, so I just stopped making myself feel guilty. It sounds silly, but I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. Seeing Facebook posts or blog post from stay at home moms makes me feel guilty. I feel like because I wasn't able to spend the day at the zoo with my son, I am not as good of a mom. Silly, I know. I wish my mind didn't always go there.
Today was one of those days, I spent the day with 26 sixth graders and felt like I was ignored 75% of the day. When I'm already feeling down about being away from Kason all day, it's not a good idea to look at Facebook or blogs. I immediately am sent into tears thinking about the lack of time I'm spending with my child when other moms spend their whole days at home. Now, please know I'm not saying this because I want to have a pity party for myself. No time for that.
I'm saying it because on days like these, I have to remind myself that I am doing MY best. Yes, I am working for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, but right now that is what is best for my family. It's a decision we made and we are working through it. During the day Kason is with people that love him unconditionally and probably doesn't even realize I'm gone. I leave work at work, and focus all of my attention on Kason when I get home. I try to make the 4-5 hours a day I see him special and full of love. It's been said many times before, quality before quantity.
I hope this helps my mama friends (esp. the working ones) out there. The only person to compare yourself to is yourself. Don't let anyone else make you feel like a bad mom. As long as your are loving your child to the best of your ability, you are doing an amazing job.
I mean, how could you not love this little boy to pieces?!