I want to start off this post by giving a little disclaimer. I always hesitate to blog about anything parenting related. I am a new mom, and with that comes lots of joys. There are also lots of struggles I face and I often wonder if I am the only one facing these battles. Luckily, I have 3 great friends that have boys the same age, so I know I'm not alone. However, I still get this churning in my stomach when I think about publicly displaying my struggles. I'm worried people will judge me and think less of me. I'm worried that people will comment or say things that I honestly don't care to hear. I'm worried that there will be that one mom that says.."I can't believe your child is doing that, my child would never do anything like that." Trust me, they are out there. As much as I hesitate to put my thoughts out there, I occasionally decide to do it. I am an avid blog reader. I love reading blogs of other moms that often struggle with the same things I do. I don't want to read blogs of moms who think they have it all figured out. That's not the kind of mom I am and I just can't relate. I want to hear the true struggles and triumphs of motherhood.
Kason has been challenging lately. Don't get me wrong, I am SO thankful that I get to spend my days with him. I cannot imagine starting school again next week and working full time again. As sad as I get about not getting to have my own classroom this year, I still don't regret my decision even on the worst day. That being said, I am fairly certain we have entered the terrible twos early. Call me naive (or dumb) but I had no idea the tantrums started this early. Holy cow! I'm talking, hitting-mommy-because-I'm-so-mad-tantrums. It seems that every time he doesn't get his way he loses it. The hardest part about this is figuring out how to help him understand what is appropriate behavior and what isn't. This is where I am at a loss.
I think that this age is hard because when Kason does something I know is wrong (i.e. throws food, hits me or someone else, throws a toy at another child's head, etc.) it's hard to figure out how to let him know that his actions aren't right for the situation. Developmentally, he is too young to understand time-out. If he throws food on the floor I've tried tapping his hand and saying "no" but he them just taps (slaps) me back. It used to be that I could firmly tell him "no" and remove him from the situation. He would then move on to something else and forget all about his previous activity. Nowadays if I remove him, it seems he often goes right back and does the same thing I just asked him not to do. I don't want him to think that inappropriate behavior is ok, but at the same time, I'm having a hard time figuring out how to communicate that to him. I know he knows what "no" means, he is just being a little defiant and ignoring me. I don't know where he gets that. :)
I feel like I'm just rambling, but I hope you get the picture. I just want to find a way to communicate to him that when he does something inappropriate, he needs to not do it again. It seems that each day this struggle becomes greater and the amount of "no-nos" he does grows. I hope that each day he begins to understand why I am saying no and that it is only out of love. I'm hoping by asking for help, you can let me know what worked well for your little ones at this age. I know that everything I'm doing is shaping and molding Kason, so I think that is why this stresses me out so much. Do I just ignore tantrums? Do I just tell him "no" over and over again when he is doing something wrong? What do I do when he throws a fit and hits me? Ugh, I'm a parenting disaster. The only thing I know to do is pray. I pray a lot for guidance. A lot. My doctor also assured me that this behavior is completely normal. Yep, I'm "that mom" that asks the doctor every question under the sun.
One last thing before I end - I wrote this post in hopes of advice, or in hopes of letting someone else that's going through it be assured they are not alone. I did not write it to hear "Oh just wait until....". I am well aware that these behaviors are minor compared to what the future holds. This is the season of life I'm in right now and that last thing I want to hear is "Oh just wait....". I know that Kason is going to give me a run for my money. He has a spit fire personality and I absolutely love that about him. It will make him grow to be a strong willed person who will be able to stand firmly for what he believes in. There will be many more tantrums and struggles in the future, but I'm glad God chose me to be the one that to help him through them, to teach him, if you will. God is teaching me so much through this little person and I am so thankful for that.