Dear Kason

Dear Kason,

Tomorrow is your mama's first full day back at work.  I can't believe my 4.5 months at home with you are coming to an end.  I have truly enjoyed every moment that we have spent together, even the hard ones. You make me smile like no one else can and I am so thankful God has blessed me with such a sweet, happy baby.

Tomorrow will be a hard day for your mama.  I know you are probably too small to know that I am even gone, but I will for sure know that I am away from you.  For the past 4.5 months I have only left you for a few hours.  The 9 months prior to that you were with me every second of every day.  This is why it is going to be so hard for me to leave you tomorrow.  I know that you will be in good hands with Aunt Jill (and then Grandma on Friday) but it is still hard for me to think about.  I'm the one that has gotten to know everything about you over the past few months.  I know what makes you laugh, what makes you sad, and what toys are your favorite.  I know what every one of your cries means.  I know what to do to make you smile that huge toothless smile.  As much as I know that other people will learn all of these things about you, it won't be the same.  It's going to be a hard day (and a hard year).

Although I will miss you tomorrow, I want you to know that I am going back to work to do what is best for our family.  I will be working hard to provide for the things that you need.  I love teaching and loving on kids that might not get it at home.  Teaching is something that I think God has called me to do.  I know He wants me to help kids that need me.  I hope that you grow up seeing my desire to help children and in turn you will grow to love helping people.  I promise to work hard at school but when the day is over, I will come home and focus all of my time and energy on you and daddy.  I will leave work at work, plain and simple. Being a mommy will always be my most favorite job, and I want you to always remember that.

I am so grateful that I have gotten to spend with last 4.5 months at home getting to know you.  You have know idea how much you have changed my life in this short amount of time.  I have learned so much about what it means to love someone unconditionally, no matter what.  You bring so much joy to my life.  I can't wait to continue to watch you grow and learn.  I am so thankful for a job that allows me so many breaks to spend with you.  I know I will cherish every one of those breaks.

I know you will do great tomorrow, and mama will be fine too.

I love you so much sweet boy,
Your Mama