just the two of us

It's hard to believe that it's almost May.  That means in just two-ish months, baby girl will join our family.  I've said it once, and I'll say it a hundred more times, this pregnancy has flown by.  I can't believe how much more quickly it's gone this time around.  I've tried to really soak up my time with just Kason, but I can feel a little anxiety knowing it's coming to an end.

Honesty, I feel good about Kason becoming a big brother.  I've prayed a lot about it, and God has given me a peace over my worry.  He's going to love his baby sister, and although there will be rough days, I know that giving him a sibling is an amazing gift.  I don't feel as though I'm ruining his life (as I did a few months ago), but instead feel like I'm giving him a new best friend.  You know, the type of best friend he will hate every other day, but deep down love and protect her.  The best type of friend. :)

So, as our days alone are drawing to an end, I'm trying to do one special date day a week, just with me and Kason.  It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just something that I know Kason would enjoy. Something that gives him my undivided attention.  This week, we decided to head to one of Kason's favorite places, The Children's Museum.  I'm so thankful that the world's largest children's museum is just a 20 minute drive.  Kason always loves it there, and I love to watch him light up when he learns new things.

After the museum, we headed to lunch on the canal.  Kason loves when we go to lunch at this restaurant, because the people mover, or "choo-choo" as he calls it, goes right by it.  He also loves the canal, because he loves anything related to water.  After lunch, we headed down to the canal and Kason fed the ducks.  Or geese.  Which totally freak me out, but luckily they didn't attack us when the bread was gone. :)

So thankful for this time with my boy.  I know I'll look back and cherish these days so, so much. 

 I have a few other date ideas in mind, but if you have anything that would be fun for a 2 year old boy (ALL boy), send those ideas my way! :)

28 weeks {baby g #2}

Monday I was 28 weeks pregnant with our sweet baby girl!  I welcomed my third trimester with open arms, as I already can't wait to meet this sweet girl.  These next few months I plan on savoring every last minute of Kason being an only child.  I have lots of special dates planned for the two of us, and we'll keep talking about his baby sister in preparation for her arrival.  I know it will be an adjustment, but quite honestly I'm not too worried about how Kason will react to the baby.  He LOVES babies, and always wants to hold and snuggle them.  I don't think he'll be mean, or jealous of the baby necessarily.  I do think that he will be a little sad that his momma now has 2 babies to take care of..but that's to be expected.  He's such a helper that I'm hoping he will want to help out with all things baby.  No, to figure out how to make him feel helpful when I'm nursing so much! :)

And PS - I know I wear a jean jacket ALL THE TIME, but this weather is just killing me.  It's not warm enough to wear all of my tank tops and short sleeve maternity shirts I've bought, so I find myself throwing on a jacket all the time.  And those mint maternity pants, best $10 I even spent! :)

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl weighs about 2 and 1/4 lb. (about the size of a Chinese cabbage) and is measuring about 14.8 inches from head to heels.

My size: Today at the doctor I weighed 123 lbs.  That means I'm up 9 pounds.  I have gotten lots of maternity shirts in the past few weeks.  With Kason, I rarely work maternity shirts.  With this baby, I'm carrying so wide, that my shirts are too small.  I don't know why the doctor told me that I was carrying so tight and all in front, because it doesn't seem that way!!  

Movement: Still feeling lots of movement.  Not so many kicks anymore, more like elbow jabs and a heel poking out.  She has been getting the hiccups about twice a day, which is what Kason did too.  He had them a lot once he was here, so I'm guessing she will too!  Duane and I both think we felt her head popping up in between my ribs last night.  Hope she changes position soon!  Get head down, baby girl!

Most excited thing: Although she doesn't have a nursery, I've been preparing some things for her.  Nesting kicked in this past week, so I've been busy cleaning out closets, and getting a space in our room prepared for her.  It's hard when I see all of my friends that are pregnant posting photos of their nurseries, but I know she will have the perfect nursery all in God's time.

Most annoying thing: Acid reflux has been really hard lately.  It comes on at night, making it even harder to sleep.  My throat feels like it's ON FIRE.  Ugh.

Cravings:  I honestly haven't craved much lately.  I eat a few bites of anything and get full right away.

Sickness: Been feeling pretty good this week!

Next appointment: I went to the doctor this morning for my glucose test.  Praying that it comes back normal!  I go back to the doctor in two weeks.  Now that I'm in trimester 3, I'll go for check ups every 2 weeks.  So hard to believe!

This comparison photo cracks me up!  My hair was SO dark, and straight.  In this week's photo it is light and curly.  I guess that's the difference between a winter and summer baby!  Plus, I've gotten lazy and haven't been straightening my hair at all!  I think my belly is about the same size, it just seems "pointier" this time around.  Which is so weird, because I feel like I'm carrying her much wider than I did Kason??

be the light

Last night before bed, Duane and I were watching the news coverage on the Boston Marathon attack.   Tom Brokow said something that stuck with us, and made me think.  He said that when he heard about the attacks, all he could think about was his grandchildren. He hated how they would never know what it is like to go to a large event such as the marathon and feel safe.  That was like a punch to the gut.  I looked at Kason on the monitor after I heard that and got very emotional.  My sweet, sweet innocent boy.  He knows no bad in the world.  He doesn't know that there are people that set off bombs at large events.  He doesn't know there are people that go into first grade classrooms and kill innocent children. He doesn't know that people go into a movie theatre and sometimes don't come out alive.  He is innocent.  And I hate that one day, unfortunately sooner than later, he will know the evil of this world.  That innocence will be no more, and my sweet boy will know the pain of this dark world.  It almost makes me ill to think about.  I want to keep him sheltered from this darkness in our world.  I want to keep this precious baby girl tucked inside of my belly, free from the evils our world is capable of.  I don't want her, or Kason to know such evil.  I don't want them to live in fear.  

As I sit here and tears flow from my eyes, and I think about what a dark world we live in, I realize again what my calling is.  God has called me to be a light in this dark place.  He has called ME to be kind, and love others.  To try to look for the good in all of the evil.  Because let me tell you something, in a world full of evil, there is a lot of good.   I need to show people that good light, the light that is Jesus.  He is my hope, and my comfort when things like this happen.  He cries when we cry.  He understands our pain, and is also heartbroken for our fallen world.  

I am called to be a light in a dark place.

If there is one thing I can teach Kason and his baby sister, it is to be a light.  I don't know in what ways they will let their light shine, but I pray that I teach them the importance of that little light they will sing about in Sunday school.  Maybe it will be to be a light in their dark school.  Maybe it will be to help a friend that is living a dark life that needs a light.  That needs Jesus desperately.  I'm not sure how they will use their light, but I know I will do everything in my power to teach them about God's love and how it shines a light in our lives.  I hope that they learn to take their light with them, and to be hope in a dark, hopeless world.

On these dark days, I am thankful for the hope that God promises me.  I'm thankful that he promises hope for my babies, that will be growing up in a starkly different world than I grew up in.  

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have thelight of life.”  John 8:12

"terrible twos"

Oh parenting a toddler.  It is so much different than parenting a newborn.  Those first few months of having a new baby were hard, but they have nothing on the past few months.

Let me start off with a disclaimer.  I'm not sure why I always feel like I need to preface my parenting posts, but I guess I'm worried about judgement.  Even though, quite frankly I don't care what others think of my parenting and there will always be those "holier than thou" moms that will just shake their head and say "I would never do/think that."  And those people are hidden from my newsfeed and blocked out of my mind, so I think we're good, but I still feel like I need a disclaimer. :)

  I never want anyone to think that I don't love being a momma.  I love Kason with all of my heart and absolutely love being his momma.  There is no other job I'd rather be doing than staying home with him and spending my days pouring my energy into him.  There are so many people that long to be parents and I never want to appear to be complaining about my role.

Moving on... :) 

The age Kason at is so much fun.  I love that he repeats everything he hears and learns so many new things everyday.  I love that he is learning his shapes and colors.  I love that he is starting to count, even if he just counts "two, four, six" right now. :)  His little mind is like a sponge, and I can't put enough into him.  Love my little learner!  However, I would be lying if I said that this age is all fun and games. Because It's not.  

And I am struggling.

Along with all of the learning he is doing, he is also learning something else.  Independence.  He wants to do what he wants when he wants, and that's the end of it.  If I don't take his socks off the second we walk in the door, meltdown.  If he doesn't get to have a snack 5 minutes before dinner, meltdown.  If I look at him when he rather I didn't, meltdown.  Needless to say, we have lots of meltdowns throughout our day.  

As much as I would love to just cater to his every need and tell him yes all the time, it's just not realistic.  That's not good parenting in my book.  He needs to hear the word "no" and understand that sometimes, mommy and daddy just know best and they always have his best interest at heart.  The hard part is explaining that to a two year old.  It's hard to reason with a two year old.  It's kind of like reasoning with Kaia.  So, when he wants something that is just not happening, it starts.  The whining.

Oh. My. Goodness. THE WHINING.  

It is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  Forget the tantrums, they aren't fun but I can handle those.  The whining every time something doesn't go his way?  Can't handle it.  I get so frustrated so many times throughout the day.  I have to take a step back and remind myself that he is learning as he is whining.  I need to use those moments as teachable moments.  I don't know how many times a day I say "Kason, please don't whine and use your words to tell momma what is bothering you."  I usually start off saying this rather calmly and lovingly in the morning, but by the time evening rolls around it sounds more like "STOP WHINING!"  I need to get better about that.

I'm slowly learning what it means to parent through the "terrible twos".  Here are a few things I've learned through all of the whining:

 -- Sometimes the whining is only because he doesn't know how to express his feelings.  When I get frustrated, I can express it with words and other emotions.  When Kason gets frustrated, he doesn't know what else to do but whine.  Does this make it ok?  Absolutely not.  There are enough whiny adults in the world, my child doesn't need to grow up to be one.  However, it makes it a little more bearable when I want to pull my hair out.

-- Teaching patience through whining is SO important.  I've noticed a quality in Kason that was given to him by yours truly.   If he's putting legos together and they don't fit, he freaks out and starts whining. If he is working a puzzle and can't get the piece to fit, he starts to whine.  Guess who else gets upset when she can't get something the first time?  This girl.  So, I've learned to talk to Kason about this when he struggles to get something the first time.  I usually stop him and tell him something like "Buddy, it's ok if your can't get it right away, you can keep trying instead of whining.  And if you can't get it please ask for help instead of whining."  Does this always work?  HA!   Absolutely not.  A lot of the time he throws the toy in frustration.  But there's always that one time that it sinks in.  He keeps trying and eventually gets it and yells "GOT IT!  HIGH FIVE!" and wants my praise.  And boy, do I give it to him! :)

-- Slow down and explain things to Kason.  Like I said, it's hard to reason with a two year old, but Kason surprises me with how much he understands.  At times, I have to tell him "no" and don't give an explanation because I'm in a hurry.  If I just slow down and explain to him why I'm saying "no", a lot of times it eliminates some of the whining.  At the same time, I try to say "yes" a lot too.  It's kind of like choosing your battles. :)  If I want him to eat a banana for a snack and he wants Goldfish instead, that's ok.  I can compromise.  I can't tell him "yes" all the time, because that's not the way the world works.  But I can do my best to say "yes" even when it's not the most convenient.  

-- Most important lesson, is that Kason needs to know I love him in spite of his whining.  I try really hard to keep my cool, because I want Kason to know that I love him no matter what.  I don't care if he whines the entire day, I love him just as much.  Such a good way to teach God's love to my boy.  I'm sure Jesus hears my "whining" daily, and he still loves me just as much in spite of all of my complaining.  Kason needs to know that I feel the same about him.

I love learning how to better parent Kason.  It's the hardest job I've ever done, but I'm thankful that I get to learn as I go, and that ultimately I am becoming a better momma for Kason and his baby sister. :)

Thanks for letting me get all of my thoughts out.  

And PS - All of you "just wait..." people, I know the threes are worse.  No need to tell me.  I deal with this parenting thing a day at a time. :)

26 weeks {baby g #2}

Monday I was 26 weeks pregnant with our sweet baby girl!  AND she finally has a name!  We are so excited to be able to call this baby by name, and pray for her by name.  We're still not announcing it publicly, but have told some close friends and family.  The rest of you will have to wait until July. :)  Naming her made the fact that she will be here in just over 3 months SO much more real.  I can't wait to get her in my arms!

Pregnancy Updates:

Baby G's size: Baby girl weighs about 1 and 2/3 lbs. and measures about 14 inches long, about the size of an english cucumber.  Kason was 19 and 3/4 inches at birth, so it's crazy that this baby doesn't have a ton more length to gain.  My ribs are thankful.

My size: I weighed 122 lbs. at my appointment today.  That means my total weight gain is 8 lbs.  I gained like 3 pounds in the last month, which seems crazy, but I guess it's not that much.  I looked back at my 26 week post with Kason and had gained 13 pounds at 26 weeks.  So that fact that I've gained 5 pounds less is crazy.  I did start off about 8 pounds heavier with this baby, though.

Movement: Lots of big movements happening.  She's still the most active in the evening and as I sit at my computer and edit it's so fun to watch my stomach dance all over the place.  I've felt some shoulder and elbow pokes, which is always cool!  

Most excited thing: Naming our girl is for sure the most exciting thing right now!  Kason's little voice saying his sister's name is just the cutest thing. :)  

Most annoying thing: Sleeping.  So hard to get comfy.

Cravings:  I honestly haven't craved much lately.  I eat a few bites of anything and get full right away.

Sickness: I have gotten really nauseous and actually threw up again last week.  I remember my morning sickness coming back in trimester 3 with Kason, so maybe it's back?

Next appointment: I go back to the doctor April 23 for my glucose test.  After that appointment I will go back every 2 weeks until 36 weeks, when I'll go once a week.  I can't believe I'm only a week and a half away from trimester 3. :)