Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Notes from a New Mama

Today marks Kason's two week birthday.  Two weeks ago today I was busy bringing this sweet, adorable little guy into this world.  Wow, 2 weeks has flown by!  I need time to slow down for the next few 20 years.  I feel like I have learned SO much in the last two weeks.  Now obviously I don't have it all figured out, but I am slowly starting to understand how to care for this sweet baby that God has trusted me with.  

Here are some things I've learned after two weeks. . . 

...I come second.  I'll be the first to admit that I've always been a little self centered.  That has changed in the past two weeks.  I'm no longer as concerned about what I need, but more concerned with what Kason needs.  He is fully reliant on me, and although that terrifies me at times, I am learning to better understand what he needs.

...I've learned what it truly means to be exhausted, Ha! :)  I remember thinking I was exhausted when I was in college and busy with school...that exhaustion has NOTHING on what I'm currently experiencing.  Of course the exhaustion is totally worth it, it's just a new experience!

...Breastfeeding is hard, demanding, but 100% worth it.  This was something that I was really worried about while I was pregnant.  Would I be able to breastfeed?  Would it be a rewarding experience?  I asked lots of questions and constantly worried.  Luckily, Kason and I have figured out this breastfeeding thing pretty well.  The hardest part is knowing that I'm the only one (for now) that can feed him.  That part is exhausting but I wouldn't change it for anything!

...Snuggle time with Kason is so important!  I am trying to tell myself that a clean house is not important right now.  Blogging, talking on the phone, etc. are not important.  Kason will only be this little once and I want to hold and cuddle him for as long as I can.  I'm guilty of hitting silent when people call me and not responding to texts (sorry if you've been a victim of this!) but sometimes I just want to sit in silence and hold my baby.  I mean who wouldn't want to snuggle with this...


...I would not be able to do this alone.  Duane and I have said it over and over again, we don't know how single parents do it.  It take both of our time and energy to take care of a new baby.  We have become such a good team, and I can already tell it has made our marriage stronger.  Now I'm not naive enough to think that parenting will always make our marriage stronger, but for now, we make a great team!  Duane is a fabulous daddy and I have fallen more in love with him through watching him interact with Kason.

...My faith and belief in God has never been stronger.  I'm not sure how anyone can look at an infant and not believe in God.  This tiny human grew inside of me for 9 months and is now here.  He is healthy, and perfect.  To think that is by chance is, in my opinion, absoultely crazy.  At the same time, I am totally entrusting God to watch over and protect my baby boy.  He will help and teach me how to raise this boy, but ultimately, Kason's life is in his hands.  He knows what Kason will be doing in 5, 10, 15 years and in that I find a lot of comfort.

...Being a mommy is not going to be easy.  In fact, I have a feeling it's going to be really, really hard.  I'm going to need Duane and God to help me get through every moment.  However, I want to constantly work on learning to be a great mama to Kason (and any other babies that come in future years).  I want to raise a son that loves Jesus and I know that he needs to see that love in Duane and I.  That being said, I want to constantly be working to show him Jesus' love so that he can understand how important it is.  I'm so grateful God has given me the chance to be a mommy to this sweet baby boy! :)

1 comment:

  1. love your last several posts.... so glad he is here!! all the things you have learned are oh so true- they are the "new mommy revelations" :) kason is precious!